Grief and Developmental Stages
| Age | Understanding of Death | Expressions of Grief |
| Infancy to 2 years | Is not yet able to understand death. | Quietness, crankiness, decreased activity, poor sleep, and weight loss. |
| Separation from mother causes changes. | ||
| 2-6 years | Death is like sleeping. | Asks many questions (How does she go to the bathroom? How does she eat?). |
| Problems in eating, sleeping, and bladder and bowel control. | ||
| Fear of being abandoned. | ||
| Tantrums. | ||
| Dead person continues to live and function in some ways. | "Magical thinking" (Did I think or do something that caused the death? Like when I said I hate you and I wish you would die?). | |
| Death is not final. | ||
| Dead person can come back to life. | ||
| 6-9 years | Death is thought of as a person or spirit (skeleton, ghost, bogeyman). | Curious about death. |
| Asks specific questions. | ||
| May have fears about school. | ||
| Death is final and scary. | May have aggressive behavior (especially boys). | |
| Worries about imaginary illnesses. | ||
| Death happens to others, it won’t happen to me. | May feel abandoned. | |
| 9 and older | Everyone will die. | Strong emotions, guilt, anger, shame. |
| Increased anxiety over own death. | ||
| Mood swings. | ||
| Death is final. | Fear of rejection; not wanting to be different from peers. | |
| Even I will die. | Changes in eating habits. | |
| Sleeping problems. | ||
| Regressive behavior (loss of interest in outside activities). | ||
| Impulsive behavior. | ||
| Feels guilty about being alive (especially related to death of a brother, sister, or peer). |
