Your Mental Health
Living with a brain or spine tumor can be overwhelming. It can affect how you feel and function. You may feel angry, frustrated, unmotivated, and powerless. Simple tasks may take more time now or require help from family and friends. It can be hard to stay strong and upbeat while going through treatment.
Learning ways to cope with the mental challenges of a brain or spine tumor diagnosis, including setting goals, staying positive, and accepting your new self can help you deal with the stress of the diagnosis and impact of treatment.
- It can be hard to stay positive when dealing with a brain or spine tumor diagnosis. Feelings of fear, anger, and frustration are normal. Seeing the positives in your life can be a great tool to shift your perspective. It allows you to be hopeful and accept the challenges that life brings you.
- While it’s also important to give yourself time and space to feel what you feel, the habit of staying positive can help you find happiness.
Tips to Stay Positive
- Read an inspirational or funny book.
- Write positive messages that build your self-esteem.
- Hang messages on a mirror or anywhere you can easily see them.
- Recite them daily.
- Visualize yourself feeling at peace as you recite them.
- Set positive intentions for each day. Example include, I will not let stress get the best of me today. Healing is a state of mind and heart and I am healed. I am not this disease. I refuse to be defined by cancer and it does not control my life.
- Reduce the time you spend with negative people and habits.
- End each day by listing at least three positive things that happened and savor these moments.
- Learn to stop and observe without reacting in negative moments.
- Say “no” to things that don’t put you in a good frame of mind.
- Try to go outdoors when you can.
- Disconnect from technology and social media if it makes you feel negative.
Any time you become stressed or overwhelmed, stop and take a deep breath. Say a positive message out loud and pair it with a relaxation technique. Repeat this as many times as it takes to improve your mood. Remember, you are in control of your mind and thoughts.
I have always been anxious and a planner, but with my diagnosis, I have never been more at peace. I realized that the what, when and where are a lot less important than the people that surround you.
Accepting Yourself Now
When diagnosed with a brain or spine tumor, you may feel consumed by your diagnosis and feel lost. You may grieve the old life you once had. Remember, you’re still an important piece of this whole puzzle we call life. Learning ways to let go of past expectations will allow you to heal and continue to live a meaningful life.
Questions to Ask Yourself
- What has changed and stayed the same about my life since the diagnosis?
- How have I changed or stayed the same?
- What brings meaning to my life? How can I incorporate these things into my life?
- What do I want others to know about me? How can I tell my story to others?
- Are there things I want to do more of? What do I like to do the most?
- What goals do I have for my life?
- What have I learned from my past experiences?
- What is most important to me? How can I add more of it?
- What am I thankful for?
- What gives me hope and strength?
- What have the losses in my life taught me?
Although your life has forever changed, you’re in control of how you respond to it. You can write the things you want to do more of and how to experience them. Think about what you’re grateful for and what you have accomplished. By accepting all aspects of your new life, you can positively cope and influence those around you.
I know that we are lucky … Being grateful for what we have is more powerful than grieving over what we have lost.
- Self-Image and Cancer
- Self-Love During Cancer Treatment
- Managing Body Image Concerns After Cancer Treatment
Setting goals can help you keep track of the things that you want to accomplish. It can also motivate and empower you to move forward. Your goals should focus on the things you’re able to do. Goal setting can be categorized into short- and long-term goals and life goals.
- Short-term goals are things you want to achieve today, this week, this month, or this year. For example, take 15-minute daily breaks at work to stretch, plan to walk for 10 minutes three days a week, or write three journal entries each month. Short-term goals can include other ways to keep you well, such as reminders to take your medicines, go to bed at the same time each night, ask for help from your spouse to avoid feeling overwhelmed, or see a counselor once a week. Short-term goals can help set the stage for long-term goals.
- Long-term goals are things you want to achieve in the future. They’re not tasks you can do in a month or year. They require time and planning. For example, research and plan a vacation or take a class to learn something new.
- Life goals are major goals you would like to accomplish in your lifetime. They give you direction toward the things you find important in your life and want to fulfill. They are also part of the legacy you want to leave behind. For example, getting married, traveling to five or more countries, setting up a college fund for your children, being in your dream job, or buying a house.
Tips to Set Goals
- Set short-term goals first and pace yourself to complete them. Don’t overwhelm yourself by focusing too far ahead.
- Make a list of goals and estimate deadlines to accomplish them. Then, categorize your goals by short-term, long-term, and life.
- Use the SMART technique to set your goals:
- Make your goal Specific.
- Decide how it is going to be Measured.
- Ask yourself if it is Attainable.
- Be Realistic about being able to accomplish this goal.
- Be Timely by deciding how long you will give yourself to complete your goal.
- Plan to work toward your goals when you have the most energy.
An important lesson in goal setting is to reward yourself through the process. If you got out of bed, walked to the mailbox, or wiggled some of your fingers today, be proud. Don’t wait until you have achieved a big goal to celebrate your accomplishments. You should also be patient if things don’t go as planned and make a list of fun activities to do when you need a break from goal-planning.
Be mindful of the reason for your goals, understand the outcome you want to achieve, and take things day by day to stay motivated. Achieving these goals can help you remain focused and improve your self-confidence.
Download and create your own list of goals.
Early on in my cancer journey, I adopted a fighter mindset. I knew I had a choice when I was diagnosed. I could choose to feel sorry for myself or I could choose to live my life.